Now is the time to go

Studies show that a “Blog Reader” will read the first three sentences of an article and move to the next article.  (Ummmm … I don’t know that.  I just made it up!

Believing that people will read an article based on a cool “headline / title” or the first several sentences and … you are still reading?  THANK YOU.  

With this article, I am publicly apologizing to my sister, her husband, and my best friend.  I also include in that public apology – my friends.  My apology is “DEFRIENDING” them on my Facebook “page” without notifying them first.  I am a person that will just walk away (defriend) from Facebook.  I do not think being a “Facebook Friend” is the foundation for relationships – family or friends.  

From my sister and best friend’s reactions, I learned that Facebook has gained such tremendous power in our relationships that when one chooses to walk away from Facebook, without saying anything, that un-notified “walk away” is seen as a message that says, “the relationship is over.”  Wow!  Think about that. 

Our relationship is now anchored by Facebook?  That is a fair question.  The only way we connect or can connect is via Facebook?  That thought concerns me greatly.  

When I “defriended” my sister and my best friend, my sister texted me that she was rightly mad at me, while my best friend phoned me and wanted to know what happened.  Their response (and if there is such a thing … a “correct” response) was a response that was filled with questions, such as,  “how could you?”  “Why didn’t you tell me?”  “Why didn’t you phone me? Email me?  Text me? Before you defriended me?”  ALL ARE REASONABLE QUESTIONS!  

My response?  I was done.  I don’t want to be in a Facebook world where “we are right and well, you are wrong.” 

“I never said you were wrong, Paul” is something that I would hear.    

No.  No you did NOT say, “Paul, you are wrong.”  However, there are many examples of people saying things by their lack of saying, “Paul, I respect your opinion.  Here is how I see it.”  

Moderate-conservative / Centrist (MY DEFINITION) – among several beliefs, not limited to: 
a person who believes in the sovereignty of the individual;
USA is not a THEOCRACY;
female athletes compete against biological female athletes
we need to have two strong political parties and welcome a third;
single party might as well be a TRYANNY (if the single party is your party, you are happy!)

In public education and music, I was tired of being one of “those” people.  I felt the weight of the woke!  Just as I need to do physically, I need to drop the weight of the woke.

As a “Moderate-Conservative” / “Centrist,” I was getting nailed by the woke / liberal / left and … those folks include my sister, her husband, my best friend and other friends.  It was too much.

What about the “Conservatives” / “Right Wing?”  Don’t they nail you, Paul? 

Answer:  No.  They don’t.  I am one of many who can share that sentiment.  The woke / liberal / left know and are convinced, they are right.  The “Conservatives” / “Right Wing” that I deal with know they (“Conservatives” / “Right Wing”) are right, but that is as far as it goes.  The “Conservatives” / “Right Wing” don’t beat me down.  The woke / liberal / left feel like evangelists for the secular world

Because, the numbers of woke / liberal / left people in education and music is a VERY HIGH NUMBER, that high number leads to me feeling beaten down!   

I am leaving Facebook as a communication tool with my family and friends.

If you are like me, you may feel that Facebook is becoming a tool to embolden one side of the “truth” …

LEAVE.
WALK AWAY.
It is difficult.

This is how I currently feel with the decision to walk away:  I AM ALONE and that “feeling” is so FALSE. 

I constantly need to remember – which is sad – I am a CHRISTIAN and Jesus Christ will not leave me alone.  I have accepted Jesus Christ as my LORD and SAVIOR.  I am now walking in the desert for “forty days.”  So, yes, I am alone per-se, but really … I will have Jesus there to keep me company.  There will be many others, as well.  In fact, I may meet many new people!

What will be exciting is where to go from here. 

I have made a choice and now let us see what happens. 

How will my relationship move with my sister, her husband, my best friend, and others I have “blindly” defriended or told them, “I defriended?”  Notice how I used the word “move.”  Meaning – forward or backward or stay still.  We shall see.  I will place the answer / direction in the Lord’s arms, as well, as our (family / friends / me) actions. 

May I also say?  Several / many people have defriended me and have not informed me.  I didn’t contact them to ask why.  Therefore, I didn’t know me not contacting folks would be received in such a manner.  I get it!  I understand it.  I know I should have said something. 

How many people will write to me band2gether@comcast.net and stay in touch with me?  Informing folks I was leaving Facebook as a communication tool with family and friends, I made the announcement on January 13, 2021.  I will share a “countdown.”  People will know how to get a hold of me. 

I have 1,295 “Facebook friends.”  Would love 1,295 emails / phone calls!  Seriously!  I would!  To have 1,295 folks reach out to me is an HONOR! 

Oh, by the way … very quick.  Facebook has bastardized the word “friend.”

A “Facebook Friend” is more times than not, “title” only.  Grateful to have them in my life.  I do believe they are loving / friendly folks.  But, with the lack of contacts from each of those 1,295 “Facebook friends,” I don’t even think — they would say, “Paul is one of my best friends.”  So, again, Facebook has bastardized an important word for me: “friend.” 

Here is how I see / us the word “friend.”  From https://www.britannica.com

Feast of the Transfiguration, Christian commemoration of the occasion upon which Jesus Christ took three of his disciples, Peter, James, and John, up on a mountain, where Moses and Elijah appeared and Jesus was transfigured, his face and clothes becoming dazzlingly bright (Mark 9:2–13; Matthew 17:1–13; Luke 9:28–36).

Out all of those followers of Jesus, Jesus had only three people (Peter, James, and John) see his transfiguration:  “his face and clothes becoming dazzlingly bright.”  That moment for Jesus is so intimate.  So personal.  What would have happened if ALL THE PEOPLE had seen that moment?  We will never know.  What I do know is … the story shows me friend / friendship is something more than a “click” on a “thumbs up.”  Also, another reason why I am not my students’ friends.  I have told them, “You want a fifty-five year-old man to be your friend?”  You should see their faces cringe.  “It’s just a word, Paul.”  To you… To you, it is just a word.  To me?  The word “friend” is literally – divine

Moving on…

How will I grow – quantity & quality – relationships with no Facebook?  No pictures of friends’ babies / grandbabies / weddings / memorials / human moments?!  Again, here is my email:  band2gether@comcast.net  There is another way to get a hold of me  https://www.conductingmylife.com  Yet, now that I think of it as I am writing this, Facebook has almost made us LAZY / apathetic in our relationships.

It’s so convenient to just make an announcement / share an announcement and watch the reactions poor in.  Why would I need to do anything else?  Does have a “hint” of laziness. 

After ten-plus years of being on Facebook, I am going to go on a walk in the desert of communication and see what happens.

I encourage all of you to evaluate your “relationship” with your Facebook community. 

  • How it is affecting you?
  • How is it enriching your soul, or not?
  • How many of your friends think like you?
  • Those who differ with you, how do you show respect / value their opinion?

Obviously – BILLIONS of people enjoy Facebook.  You are one of Billions.  Me?  I will find a different way / a single way / focused way of “enjoying” Facebook.  I will be utilizing Facebook to help me LIFT UP people who need to be UPLIFTED! 

As my grandfather said, 30 July 1945:  close the hull of the ship.  Before I lose many more family and friends, I am taking my grandfather’s order seriously:  #closethehulloftheship 

6 Comments

    • Paul Everts

      Reply

      Hello Will:
      I am very grateful for 20+ year friendship. Thank you very much for your continued support. I appreciate your time reading the article.

      Many Blessings / Agape,
      Paul

  1. Jessica Broschart

    Reply

    I absolutely love this! It is an eye-opening perspective. What started out as a convenience for people has become a platform of censorship and hate. It’s extremely sad, and I am glad to see people speaking up about it. I have been contemplating leaving Facebook as well, and if I do make a decision in that direction, it will be interesting to see how many people will care to still communicate and be true friends. I fully support your choice look forward to reading your future posts.

    • Paul Everts

      Reply

      Hello Jessica:
      Wow!! What a beautiful message. THANK YOU!

      Seeing what I …. me …. I allowed Facebook to become is NOT GOOD! As I said, #closethehulloftheship . Going to encourage folks to do what they need to do. For example, Will told me to have a BUSINESS FACEBOOK PAGE, I need to have a personal page. Cool…….. I will just melt my personal page away. DORMANT!

      Scott, my student from 1987, motivated me with his memories of, “Mr. Everts! You fired us up! There was something about you, EVEN BACK THEN, that had a way of motivating us. Find a ‘platform’ to “lift-up” people. Allow people to come to you. You are hitting a wall with FACEBOOK and with many of your students. There are people who don’t want to hear your crap! So, give those who want to hear your message a place to go.”

      Well, that is not Facebook for me. Facebook does not lift me up. GOD LIFTS ME UP! Out of 1,295 “friends?” There are probably 100 AT THE MOST who want to hear “positive” messages from me.

      Therefore, I need more time with GOD. I need to spend the remaining part of my life (who knows how long?) doing what I did the first 10 years or so of my career. I want students and MANY OTHERS to go to that facebook page and https://www.conductingmylife.com / https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521143091517220&ref=content_filter finding messages that worked / works for me!

      Including me, there are people who want to / need to be uplifted. I am going to do it. My “seminary” will be my life / my experiences. I am excited and yes … nervous. Not scared. NERVOUS!

      Thank you for adding oxygen to my FIRE! Diana and I are going to get this done! #finishstrong2021

      Many Blessings / Agape and again THANK YOU,
      Mr. Everts

    • Paul Everts

      Reply

      Hello Don:
      One of my favorite UOP people! Thank you for your time it took to read this. Also, thanks for your support. I do feel GOD is going to move mountains. Hey, thanks to my former 1987 student Scott and Diana’s cousins, I am digging deep into artists such as KEITH GREEN / DALLAS HOLM / DON FRANCSICO / SECOND CHAPTER OF ACTS / ADRAE CROUCH and many more. Go home … and put on an album and “clean” me! There is some very good music from the seventies / early eighties. And yes … Michael W. Smith / Chris Tomlin and several more are doing what they can to keep that contemporary Christian music moving!!

      Many Blessings / Agape,
      Paul

Leave Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *