Discipline And Love Are Complementary

This first sentence in red is my PERSONAL BELIEF – would keep this in my heart.  It how live.  I share it because it is part of the original quote.  The rest of the quote in BLUE is how I will be in public / work. 

             “In the Christian faith, God tells us He disciplines those He loves and discipline is rarely pleasant. He doesn’t say He refrains from disciplining BECAUSE He loves. Discipline and love are complementary, not antithetical. Our unwillingness to help students by confronting and disciplining them reveals our lack of love for them. We don’t coddle because we care about students. We coddle because we don’t care enough to bother. We care more about our own feelings of comfort or desire to be popular than their growth and readiness for the challenges of real life. Confrontation is not synonymous with hate. Any decent parents (my addition “teachers”) know if we love our kids, we’ll confront them. Failing to confront will result in them compromising body, mind, and soul.”

Page 180.  NOT A DAY CARE.
MIND BLOWING! This passage from the book is an explanation for my – at times – being more “distant” from the students! Recently, I had several parents say to the principal and to other parents, “Mr Everts is mean.” Funny – sort of. Confrontation and accountability are mean? They are today.

I will get the added:  Well, its how you do it?  It’s how you confront them / how you hold them accountable.  Nah.  Seeing how today’s students are being raised, I could wear a red cardigan sweater / shirt and tie and confront the student.  The student would then be upset because the color of the cardigan sweater is red and red triggers the student. 

Wow! I am taken aback by this passage from NOT A DAY CARE. Really causing me to reflect on how I am compromising my role / who I am / what I stand for.  I know I love my students. I refuse to coddle / baby them and that means — I am not the “favorite teacher” any longer. From reading this passage, I have a better understanding, pretty humbled now. Lots of cool thinking to do.

Part of the cool thinking is how many more “hits” can I take from anonymous parents / students?  How many more lies can my reputation take?  Every day my belief in the following answer grows: TRUST GOD.  HE KNOWS HOW MUCH YOU (Paul) CAN HANDLE.  

Years ago, out of concern for my well-being (context is important), I had a principal say to me, ”why don’t you just lower their grade? It would be so much simpler / easier. Less emotion. You don’t get people upset at you.  This confronting them is going to get you hurt.  It could even effect your health!”

My answer to one of my favorite principals, “The students will learn more from the confrontation, than getting an “f.” The students don’t care about the grade as much as they care about our relationship.”

Strong answer = lots of scars. Been hurt many times for not being “simple” in “just lowering their grade.” I know another Man who had lots of scars for the RIGHT answers / not being simple.

I know many of my students (past / present / possibly future) are beginning to read my blog.  I am cautious on what to write.  However, I am also strong enough to not take on people’s responses to what I write.  I don’t own your feelings / your emotions. 

I would ask my students to read the quote above from the book:  NOT A DAY CARE.  Have a better understanding how I am going to be towards you.  If you are looking for more than what is being said in the quote from the book, because of who I am / what I believe I am and what a teacher is supposed to be … you’re gonna get love – my way (His way).  If that is not the description of love you are accustomed to, there is a place in this world for you and it may not be with me. 

I love you.  Always have and always will.