Written on August 11, 2024. 8:53pm PST. Posted same date.
We get to read all these feel good stories. Right?
- Teacher quits due to religious rights. Wins lawsuit and now is on a talk circuit making hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars.
- Homeless man. Fights to stay alive. Writes his memoir. Turns the story into a movie.
- Drug addict hits rock bottom. Now? Happily married and has started an award winning rehab center.
You know what I mean. You get to see the entire cycle. Good life – hard life – great life.
Rarely have I read stories about those who are currently in the valley with no “great life” in sight. What are those “valley-hikers” thinking? How do they stay positive? The higher the mountain, the deeper the valley.
Well, I am going to give it a shot to give you some insight on what it is like to be in a valley without really any consistent sign that the valley is going to turn into the mountain top. When you read this know 100% – I AM NOT A VICTIM. I am living with the consequences of who I am. I accept FULL responsibility for who I am and the valley I am walking! That in itself does give me some sense of peace.
What is in the “Backpack?”
As many of you know, I made a decision to
stop my career three years short of collecting full retirement. I never thought about having a countdown to end my career so I could get that retirement check. Understandably, many of my colleagues did the countdown thing. “Just three more years and I am done.” Again, I never wanted to have my career end with a countdown.
Well, frankly ever since that final day, December 23, 2021, in public education in California it has been a valley.
I didn’t think this valley would be as deep as it is.
I thought three years later, I would be feeling fantastic.
- My “Band Together” John C. Maxwell business would be bursting at the seams.
- Friends would phone me and ask me to come out and help them.
- Play lots of golf.
- Travel.
Nope.
Instead…
- My business has run dry (still pursuing its growth as you can see). More money being spent on the business than being made. We call that debt. I don’t get to call the government and ask for them to bail me out.
- No phone calls from friends asking for me to come out and help them. In fact, some real bitterness.
- Asked for help to start this cool adventure and no one has returned the phone call. I have not given up. Just letting you all know where it stands.
- Stalked by a former student (Yes. I have reached out to the local police department. They have been very helpful.)
- Had an opportunity to make a return to the public school only to experience something that reminded me, “I am here to represent my love for Jesus and not support non-Biblical values / behaviors / habits.” That hurt. I really thought I could do it. I couldn’t. I failed.
- There are other parts about the “valley,” but out of respect for others, I need to leave it at that.
So, what does one do when one is in a valley?
Answer: That is up to you. I am re-learning how to be in a valley. I haven’t been in a valley like this in a long time.
One thing you need to do is remember previous valleys you have been in only to have gotten out of! Lean on those experiences. Turn them into wisdom!
- Mom and Dad = Divorce (I was seven)
- Mom and Dad = Alcoholics (for the majority of my younger life)
- My life threatened by a band parent (or two)
- My mom / aunt and dear friend, Greg, passing away within three years of one another
- Students and/or their parents being incredibly mean / rude / insensitive (including my car window shot out as it sat in my driveway)
- Placed on paid-administrative leave (only to have been placed back into the classroom every time! Appreciate all those who stood by me / my family during those awful moments)
However, all those valleys? I was able to get to the point where they were just part of life. Part of the job.
When one gets older, there is something about hitting a valley. You don’t have that much time to get out of the valley. I am 58 years old. When my car window was shot out, I was 42! I know I have many years left, but certainly not 58 (wink).
What Can Help You (and me) Get Through the Valley
Let me give you some thoughts about being in a valley. How to deal with the “valley-hike.”
1). Be grateful that the valley is similar to what I describe.
What I mean by that is – it could be a lot worse! Correct? My health is good. My marriage is intact and doing well. Our children are doing well. Our grandchildren are wonderful. I have a job. I go to a nice church! Put things in perspective.
2). Every time something or someone gives you a reason to smile is a step closer to being out of the valley.
Our church supported my desire to bring back the choir and direct it. I love that choir! I am currently working at a charter school. A wonderful couple gave my wife and I the opportunity to be at their charter school. Nice to be with “scholars” and support the vision of their charter school.
3). Remind yourself that every setback sets-up a comeback and, in fact (not all the time), the bigger the setback, the bigger the comeback.
Eventually, this valley is going to come to an end! It will. Other valleys have come to an end. From the mountain top, those previous valleys are beautiful!!
The Story is Incomplete
I have a ways to go before I can write that complete story about how I got out of the current valley. Jesus and I have some miles to go.
Throughout this article you see some quotes. Quotes that I hope you will consider using to help you get through your valley.
From time-to-time, I am going to give you an update of what the valley is looking like. I want you to know you are not alone in your walk in the valley. NEVER! There are millions of people in valleys! And know this. There are millions more who are out of the valley. I have faith in you and me. We will be out of the valley. Don’t know when and that is a bummer. I do know how (smile).