Wrote and posted this July 29. 2024
It happened again! I pressed the “unfriend” button thinking it was better for our friendship.
Do you ever keep track of how many times you negatively reply to a friend’s post(s)?
There are Facebook friends who all they do is argue with a post.
I believe it is very important for us to be challenged, but every time (or it feels like every time) from the same person about any topic? That get’s tiring!
Could ya once in a while see how I am doing?
Write “Happy Birthday?” “Happy Anniversary?
What the heck, “Paul, I just want to see how you are doing?”
Emotional Bank Account on Social Media
Just a real fast introduction. An Emotional Bank Account (first taught to me by Dr. Stephen Covey) is between you and another person or I would think organization. Every time you do something that is a negative that is a withdrawal. And, of course, every time you do something nice / kind that is a deposit.
On social media, do you have Emotional Bank Accounts? Do you keep track how many times you disagree with a person compared to you agree with the person? Just check in with that person?
On Facebook / social media, I do what I can to be careful with how often I disagree with someone. I guess that is strange?
It’s Time for a Change
For you who are new to me, I started teaching high school music in 1989. In 1989, teachers were teachers. Not activists. Politics in the classroom (knowing what political party the teacher was in) was really frowned upon. Who the teacher “slept” with? No one cared or wanted to know. Never saw a “Pride Flag” in a classroom!
Something happened.
Probably the late 1990s – maybe early 2000s – teachers started to share their opinions. Let their students know who they vote for. Whether the teacher was a liberal or conservative. And yes, who the teacher “sleeps” with.
And as we (teachers) become part of the class, oppose to be the teacher / the leader of the class, things change.
Well, when all this change happened, I didn’t change. I didn’t know that who I was in 1994 would thirty years later lead to me having a target on my back. A political target. I know that (being a political target) is what ended my time in California public schools. April 29, 2024, the HR director told my wife, “what happened to Paul was political.”
An overwhelming majority of my FACEBOOK FRIENDS are very liberal. And, again, I don’t mind that. What I do mind is when their liberal way is correct and my conservative way is wrong.
Kind of makes me smile because the roles of have changed. They (liberals) are the oppressors and I (conservative Christian) am the oppressed. FUNNY!
Why Unfriend?
I tend to post “hot topics.” Uncomfortable topics.
In doing so I do attract people who have no problems expressing their response(s).
There are several of my Facebook friends who choose to only respond to argue / disagree.
No problem with arguing / disagreeing.
My problem is, for several of the them, literally the only time I hear from them is to argue / disagree. Frankly, that gets tiring and therefore, to end my getting tired of them, I “unfriend” them.
Unfriend for Some People Means – Not My Friend
When I unfriend someone that doesn’t mean I do not want to be their friend.
I unfriend someone because I don’t want to hurt their feelings or having them hurt my feelings. That’s it.
However, those I unfriend stop the friendship, which is very odd for me.
With a friend, I never thought Facebook was the conduit / the mainstay of our friendship. I thought a phone call was a way to stay connected. A text. Maybe get together for a cup of coffee, meal or a drink.
I was wrong. It was all about the Facebook.
I am learning Facebook etiquette and unfortunately, how much we lean on Facebook. Really. How lazy Facebook has made many of us in maintaining our friendships!
Something to Consider
First, if you are reading this and I unfriended you, please know, more times than not, I never wanted to end the friendship. I wanted to end hearing only your arguments, disagreements, and you being correct all the time. Yes. All the time. I am sorry if me unfriending you hurt your feelings or you thought I didn’t want you as a friend. Not my intent.
Another thing to consider for all of us. Why not once in a while see how your Facebook friend is doing? See if you can some how keep track of that emotional bank account. Don’t allow the algorithm to be your monitor to when or when not to contact to your Facebook friend. Just to be on the safe side, too much “how are you,” “happy birthday,” “how are your grandchildren” is welcomed.