Now, what to do? COMPASSION

When I chose to “retire” early, I did it with a sign of compassion.  Again, here is the reason for my choice to “retire” early.

We need to start with my understanding and maybe someone else will have the same understanding of compassion – feeling or showing sympathy and concern for others

How does “retiring with a sense of being compassionate” work?  I will give a small list of synonyms for ‘compassion’ / ‘compassionate:’ understanding / sensitive / kindhearted / loving.  I “retired” early for the “concern for others, including self-concern.”’

Concern for others – I needed to remove myself from an environment that did not recognize that sometimes students / children (K-12) need to be taught “first understand then be understood.”  When I said to a student, “I love ya” that meant AGAPE love.  Teach the student that NOT every time the word “love” is used means “eros.”  Coming from me, a happily married / heterosexual man saying, “I love ya” is AGAPE.  Why not take the time to teach students / children (K-12) what the word “love” means, oppose to no one (especially a Caucasian / heterosexual / married / man / male) can say “love?”  Controlling language can work both ways.  LOVE is not said nearly enough; hence, not knowing the context of the use of the word “love.”  So, instead of taking the time to teach what the word “love” means / the context of the word, just have no one say the word.


I needed to compassionately remove myself from an environment that would not support / allow me to be … me.  For example, I love being a Christian.  So, as other teachers are showing their “authentic self” “love for themself” with the “Rainbow Flag” / “BLM flag” / dressing a certain way, I want to be able to say, “Thank God I am a teacher at ‘Pinecrest High School” and not be disciplined for saying, “God.”  To be told to “Leave Jesus Christ in the parking lot” while allowing all gay teachers to “show their ‘Gay’” or BIPOC folks to “show their BIPOC pride” on campus is yes… “UNAMERICAN.”  Wasn’t one of the ideas of our nation – to support folks be who they are?  And don’t get me started with ‘separation of church and state.’  In comparison to the millennial (0r older) staff member having students say the “Pledge of Allegiance” to any other flag other than the USA flag, I am not having the children open up the Bible to show them where such-and-such law came from!

I don’t want to bore you with hundreds of reasons I made with choice to “compassionately retire” or what compassion looks like.

I cannot think of a stronger example of being compassionate than simply, do “active listening” with / for someone.  Listen to someone not wanting to win your argument / win them over to your side.  No.  Below is “active listening.”

  • With a compassionate ear & heart – LISTEN
  • To understand – LISTEN
  • To show empathy – LISTEN
  • To show tolerance – LISTEN.
  • ASK QUESTIONS. LISTEN. REPEAT WHAT THE PERSON SAID. ( “THE” definition of “Active Listening”)
  • Do not listen to show pity (which is one of the synonyms for compassion)

There are too many people who want to change others to be in their “world” / possibly even defend who they are.  That motivation (really – manipulation) is anything but compassion.   Please look at the people who are defending their stance / belief.  For example, I have just been (through the internet; never have met the person) introduced to Cade Hildreth (I will let you do the work and look up who cade is).  My understanding of Cade’s role in this world (“As an LGBTQ+ entrepreneur, real estate investor, former USA Rugby Player, and fitness fanatic, I’ll teach you what your parents and teachers should’ve taught you but didn’t know themselves”) is to prove parents and teachers are malfeasant in teaching their children / their students about the “birds & bees.”  So, Cade uses the platform to justify / rationalize Cade’s life. (I did not use “lifestyle.” – ON PURPOSE).  If you don’t agree with Cade, you are wrong and possibly a “bad human being.”

In Cade’s February 5, 2022, article “The Gender Spectrum:  A Scientist Explains Why Gender Isn’t Binary,” I would love to know how Cade shows compassion to those who do not live like Cade.  The more science and facts Cade understands, the more Cade is correct?  What is their to prove?  Defend?  Cade – you are okay!  What makes you (Cade / folks like Cade) or me NOT okay? Being a jerk to a person because he/she is not you.  Being a jerk to a person because he / she voted for Donald Trump or Joe Biden.   One final,  “What makes you not okay?”  Being a jerk in attempting to convince others they are not okay!  As far as I know (which is little about you Cade), you are okay Cade!

How I show compassion to Cade is not mocking him, not saying “you are wrong.”  I show compassion and acknowledge what he wrote is how he sees the world.  Checkout Cade and other folks who defend their lifestyle / choices.  Their tone seems to be more of an activist / evangelist.  They come up with facts / scripture because they want you to agree with them / become one of them, oppose to “I can still work with you / respect you and disagree with you / the way you live.  Can you?”

I believe my return to “what is compassion” came with the new Supreme Court Justice (come on … those hearings were for show only; she was never NOT going to be the justice) getting the question, “What is a woman?” and her (again, she is a woman) answer is, “I don’t know.”  Need to have compassion for her, her answer AND for those whose reaction is “What was her answer?  Are you kidding me?”  DISCLAIMER:  I fall into the camp of “Are you kidding me?  Do you (Supreme Court Justice) know what this (don’t have a clear definition of woman / female) will do TO (not for) a woman / female?”  Same with mother vs. “birthing person.”  Just continued to be open with folks who read what I write.  

When did that (what is a woman) question become a “thing?”  My answer to that question is when we are TOLD to unequivocally accept (don’t ask questions, if you do, you are a bigot / sexist / transphobic) a biological male can compete against biological females.  My compassion is Lia needs to understand and yes, ACCEPT, men and women have biological differences that will give him (biological male) unfair advantages in competetive swimming.  In our culture, we (USA) believe in giving folks a fair / equal opportunity and therefore, you (biological man) will have an unfair advantage.  How is giving Lia Thomas and future trans the opportunity to compete against biological females an equal opportunity to win?  Showing compassion for biological women / females?

Compassion does not mean giving someone everything the person wants.  Compassion does not mean the strong need to adjust the weak.  Compassion does not mean to shrink the education gap between students, the standards / the expectations must be lowered.  Bottom line… we are allowing a small group of people make changes to the majority of the people and now that is deemed “compassion.”  Having boundaries can be compassionate.

I truly believe, when explaining to someone why the person cannot get what they want is given with better tone / displayed with a compassionate heart would help.  At times, I also believe if we (who disagree with the direction), simply walked away, that would help.  I don’t have the power to change hearts and minds.  Instead of believing I have the ability to change the California Public Education to TRULY accept and ‘live’ the tenet:  AS LONG AS YOU ARE TOLERANT WITH OTHERS, BE YOU, I need to … walk away.  I am not going to change California Public Education to be truly / really compassionate (sometimes ya gotta say, ‘no’ with a smile) or tolerant.  When leaders will not equate / show compassion being gay is as important as being Christian and the two should be able to publicly show what is important, how is that compassion?  How is that a healthy community?  A community that is developing?  Are we at a point where one person “wins” – all people “lose?”  Such as all people lose the opportunity to say, “I love ya” because a student or two do not want someone to say that to a student or two.

I encourage all of us to widen the circle of influence with compassion.  I admit being compassionate is getting more and more of challenge for me.  When I see folks having to defend who they are, tell others they fall short of being good because they don’t accept a lifestyle (whatever that is …. by the way:  straight / faithful / gay / trans / etc.), I lack compassion for those types of people.  Instead, I see a decaying society.  I see a society that is all about power (always will be).  Those who criticize Christians or heterosexual people for pushing their agenda are ironically behaving the same way they accuse Christians / heterosexual people of behaving.  HEAVY SIGH!

How about returning to a time where you didn’t have to prove you are right at the expense of proving others wrong?  Check it out.  It’s a pretty good idea.

In my “Now, what to do?” series, I have shared with you Biblical scripture.  With this article, I am going to attach another well-written article.  I hope you will take the time to read it. Compassion Definition and Meaning – Bible Dictionary (