I have written and spoken about this topic many times and I will continue to write and speak about this topic because … WE ARE FAILING!!
We need to learn from the LGBTQ community about teaching our youth that it is okay to be LGBTQ as it is okay to be non-LGBTQ.
As I walk on many high school campuses, I see rainbow flags / LGBTQ support groups. Plenty of support for the LGBTQ community and THAT IS OKAY. It’s commendable.
What is NOT okay is for our NON-LGBTQ students to feel that they are being excluded from “the” group of our time!
As explained in Warren Farrell’s book THE BOY CRISIS. “When one gender wins, both genders lose.” Well, the same can be said about all the support for LGBTQ. We have given all this support to LGBTQ and in doing so, we have inadvertently left out / “excluded ” (a word often used by the LGBTQ community) the “heterosexual” studnets. How are those students’ needs being met? Shouldn’t someone tell them it is okay to be “heterosexual?” It’s okay for a boy to like to play cops and robbers. It’s okay for a girl to have a pink room.
The more I see / hear, I notice a dampening on being a “heterosexual” person. Being a boy who likes to play cops and robers or a girl who likes to play with dolls seems to be a “not-good-healthy-human.” Hmmmmm …
Bottom line … TO ALL OF YOU… stop… STOP … giving so much control about your feelings to strong people… who are actually weak people. Weak people control the relationship. Did you know that?
Think about it… take a baby. Doesn’t the baby have “control” over you life? Don’t you change the baby’s diaper? So, the baby controls your time.
When someone is ill … don’t you schedule your time to be with that person / love that person / support that person?
Well, the same can be true with people attempting to control your emotions / your faith.
Again, I am very content with and happy for the LGBTQ folks. They have the support systems in place to support those folks who fall under one of the five categories.
I am speaking to the students who do not fall under the five categories. YOU ARE OKAY! You are fine. Someone needs to tell you that, as well.
What I would like you (non-LGBTQ) folk to do is to continue to believe and accept who you are. AND IF OF FAITH … walk the walk / talk the talk. I know there are no “Heterosexual” clubs on high school campuses. Those clubs don’t exist, in part, because we are told “they are not needed. It’s understood being “heterosexual is the norm.” Huh? Again, when one gender wins, both genders lose.
There may exist one or two “heterosexual clubs” … but I … FRANKLY… haven’t sat down at the computer and found the “Heterosexual Club.” No. I am not mocking the LGBTQ community. SETTLE DOWN. I commend the LGBTQ community for being there to support those students. We need to do the same for the NON-LGBTQ community.
A segue way of sorts… We (adults) are doing an AWFUL job teaching our children / training our children to be responsible for their choices, including their “feelings.” Stoicism needs to return to our schools. Too many students are suffering from anxiety because … they don’t understand they have the choice NOT TO SUFFER FROM ANXIETY!!
Or … anxious moments are always possible and here is what you do when they occur. No. We do all we can to … yes … smooth the road for the child, OPPOSE to prepare the child for the road.
One of the reasons the child is suffering from anxiety is because the adults are telling them it is okay to be anxious … versus … this is how to avoid anxiety.
1). Do your homework.
2). Put away your phone / limit your time on the phone
3). Get a win everyday
4). Do a friend inventory. Some of your friends are “vampires” and SUCK the life out of you.
5). Accept total responsibility for every FAILURE and success (good to share success with others)
6). Discipline = Freedom (Jocko Willink)
7). Listen to GOOD / POSITIVE MUSIC
8). Read
9). Take a walk
10). Help a friend or yes… EVEN STRANGER. You feel like crap? HELP SOMEONE!!
Final thought and this is going to be expanded in future “articles” / “entries.” STOP LYING TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT BULLYING. Huh? As long as there are human beings, there will be bullies! There are mean people everywhere! We continue to move to a secular nation. We are fading away from the Biblical principles that made us a great nation. Great ideas come and go.
The GOLDEN RULE is not taught in public / government funded schools. IT’S NOT! Why? Because, the ignorant leaders who believe THE GOLDEN RULE is a “Christian – only” rule and therefore, can not be part of the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM. They are also WEAK leaders because they buckle under ignorant parents and students who complain. IDIOTS! That “rule” was said by Confucius FIVE-HUNDRED OR SO YEARS before Jesus Christ was born! It is really a HUMAN LAW!
Teach children how to defend themselves against bullies. Teach children to own their emotions and not allow a bully to control their emotions.
Again, I will write more about the LIE: BULLIES WILL BE ERADICATED! Silly…
Very nice article. I believe kids get overwhelmed and are pushed into joining something that they really don’t want to because there is no other option.
Hello Paul:
Thank you very much for reading the article. Really appreciate your time. Yes. I think there is a lot of peer pressure on high school campuses. Has been and will always be. Therefore, I want all the students to know they are welcomed and when there is focus on one group, in this case LGBTQ, the other students may feel left out. I know they do! They have asked me, “What about me, Mr. Everts?” So, the intentions of helping LGBTQ students are good and ironically, how they (LGBTQ) feel left out is now starting to happen for the “heterosexual” students. We just need to have everyone know there is a place in this world.
Same thing in regards to religion. The students on public high school campuses who practice a given faith do feel they need to be quiet – don’t ask — don’t tell. Something the LGBTQ community should be able to identify with. It is a horrific feeling.
In the end, we need to teach / live the GOLDEN RULE. We need to understand there are always going to be ignorant people who don’t like us because of our gender / religion / skin color. There are 300 million people in our nation. The overwhelming majority are MATURE ENOUGH to judge be a person’s actions. WE need to keep it that way!