Law Number Two – The Law of The Mirror

On April 30, 2022, at the First Presbyterian Church in Visalia, I gave a 9am-3pm seminar on John Maxwell’s The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.  We had 75 people attend.  That was one of the most special events I have enjoyed!  Really.  God really blessed me with that day.

One of the 15 laws we covered was The Law of the Mirror.  The Law of the Mirror says, ‘you must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.’  A good quote for this law is, “personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time and energy needed to develop yourself.”  Dennis Waitley.  Dennis Waitley is a fantastic author.  Highly recommend his books.

I have decided to branch out.  Write articles.  Have a podcast.  Do a YouTube channel.  And in branching out, I have found there are people who just don’t value me or want to add value to me.   You know.  Cut off the branch.  Push me off the branch.  Bummer.  In my heart, I write articles, have a podcast, do a YouTube channel to support people.  In having three different ‘mediums,’ I hope to connect to as many people as I can and … that has been happening.

At 56 years old, I am still teachable.  Every day, I am learning more about me and what I am learning about me, I want to share with others.

My BIG PICTURE message with this law (thank you Dr. Maxwell) is build your self-image.  Dedicate time to lift that “leadership lid.”  Not take-off the “leadership lid.”  Just lift it.

Let’s say, your self-image (lid) is a six.  Well, that is as productive and the level of success you are going to achieve.  A six-out-of-ten!  Do you want to be a person who is 60% percent of what you could be?  I hope the answer is “no.”  Therefore, you need to build your self-image.  Here are two-of-the-four quick thoughts to build your self-image:

  1. Guard your SELF-TALK. What we say to ourselves about who we are, we would not say to others about who they are. Be careful of what you are saying to you.  The Proverbs writer:  words have the power of life and death.  Where does negative, critical self-talk come from?  Usually from our upbringing.  In their book “The Answer”  the authors talk about the negative messages children receive growing up.  The authors write, “By the time you’re seventeen years-old, you’ve heard “no, you can’t,” an average of 150,000 times.  you’ve heard “yes, you can,” about 5,000 times.  That is thirty no’s for every yes.  That makes for a powerful belief of “I can’t.”  So there it is again.  What we are as adults is based on what we were as children.  As adults, we will have things to overcome.  We will also have positive things to build on.  As we grow older in age, I do believe the attitude of being positive or negative is a choice.  As maturing adults, we need to accept our power of choice and the consequence of that choice.
  2. Do the RIGHT thing even it is the HARD thing. Because again, right action equals right emotion.  We are seeing many actions (riots / beatings / lootings / etc.) that just do not equate to right emotion.  How do any of those actions I list add value to another person’s life?  One of the best ways to build self-esteem / self-image is to do what is right.  It gives a strong sense of satisfaction.  And what happens whenever you don’t do the right thing?  Either you feel guilt, which makes you feel bad about yourself, or you lie to yourself to try to convince yourself that your actions were not wrong or were not that important.  That does harm to you as a person and to your self-esteem.

Final thought: TAKE RESPONSIBLITY FOR YOUR LIFE.  We tend to get in life what we are willing to tolerate.  If we allow others to disrespect us, we get disrespected.  If we tolerate abuse, we get abused.  If we think it is okay to be overworked and underpaid, guess what will happen?  If we do not have a plan and purpose for our lives, we will become part of someone else’s!  Remember I wrote we have a the power to choose our attitude:  positive or negative.  This is true.  When we take responsibility for our life, we can get past all the no’s we had as a child.  When we take responsibility for our life, we can get past all the name calling / all the hurtful actions people do to us.   In fact, when we change that word “to” to “for,” that helps has well.  Turn the person’s negative action towards you as an opportunity to learn.  How come they did that to me?  I want what they did to me to be used as what they did FOR me!  Their negative action towards me taught me fill-in-the-blank.  Turn their hurting you into again AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN.  Because, hurting you is a mistake and mistakes should be looked as opportunities to learn.

Please.  Know that all that I write in this article and frankly all the articles, I struggle with.  In no way do I look at every foul-word / slap-in-the-face as a “rose.”  Nope.  I hurt.  Like a car hitting a pothole.  Sometimes I need to get the car realigned.  In my realignment, sometimes I just need to pray.  Take in an additional “Nourishment Center” like reading or listening to music.  Find your “Nourishment Center.”  Accept the responsibility to choose your response.  We did not choose to get Cancer, but we do choose how we respond to having Cancer.

If you want to learn more about THE 15 INVALUABLE LAWS OF GROWTH, please contact me and I would be more than happy to work with you / your group.

Thank you Dr. Maxwell for all the wonderful information – including what is in this article – you provide so many people.