Dress code

My website / blogs will be education / family-centered. I will do my best to not be too political. However, through your eyes / experiences, you will form your OPINION of which way I lean. All I would ask is that when one reads my blogs that one forms an opinion that these are words only. I stand by what I write. But, I am beginning to understand that no matter what I write, the reader labels it. I write from a loving heart. I do my best to embrace what I say is an opinion and therefore, it is not “absolute.” To me, what you write / say is an OPINION and not absolute. Here is my example for absolute vs. opinion. Diana is my wife – absolute. Diana is the best wife in the world – opinion. (By the way, an opinion I strongly agree with based on Diana’s actions). In the end, as strong as I believe “Diana is the best wife in the world” I would have to bow down to the, “in the end, it is an OPINION.” Okay. So, here comes my opinion and you all make that opinion right or wrong; good or evil.

We are living in a narcissistic world. Let’s start with the definition of the word: Narcissism – excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. When I see the story in regards to Rose Lynn, MacArthur High School student, I see the definition of narcissism. Narcissism is part of the teenage world and we encourage narcissism through social media. Rose Lynn is now smelling like a rose on social media while she is a thorn in the side of school and their rules.

Because they are unenforceable, I oppose dress codes. Rules / laws need to be simple and enforceable. Human beings must have rules / laws, but when they are vague and unenforceable, what good are they?  Those unenforceable rules / laws lead to as much chaos as not having them at all. Reading this story, gives me more fodder that a dress code is an added stressor to an already stressful community – public high school. Whether or not Rose Lynn or her mother, Ms. Delgado likes it, time for the “school uniform.” Then, school uniform leads to no confusion. A school uniform will help folks like Rose Lynn and her mother fully understand expectations. Businesses have uniforms. Let’s have public schools have uniforms (some sarcasm; not really in favor of school uniform; but, what the heck?).

As far as this story getting so much attention, who is on social media? Answer:  Rose Lynn and her peers. Clothes are especially important to teenagers. Also, this sense of “freedom to wear what I want” is important to teenagers. Narcissism. Correct? Narcissism – excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. As adults / role models, we need to do a better job training our children / students: clothes do matter and do send a message. The United States is a visual society. We base our first opinion of a person on what we see him / her wearing. When we see a student choose to wear a t-shirt that reads, “If it doesn’t cover your crotch, you’ll distract the boys” that student (Rose Lynn) has chosen to face disciplinary action. Clothes matter. Rose Lynn chose to mock the rule / law.  She has lost the battle / her opportunity to be Malala (a true hero).

When working with children, parents / teachers need to stand together. There are more parents today who are siding with their children (“She (Rose Lynn) wasn’t doing anything wrong.”), rather than working with the school. Today, parents are more like Ms. Delgado, who will say, “She wasn’t doing anything wrong.” I wonder if Ms. Delgado could see that she supported her daughter mocking people (microaggression (a term I cannot stand, but will gladly use it in this situation). Ms. Delgado is cheering on her daughter’s “crotch” shirt, oppose to finding another way to work with the system. The “all the girls are wearing” argument is weak. As a teacher, when I phone home to contact a parent about their child’s behavior, the defensive / nervous parent responds, “well, I heard you (THE TEACHER) did this.” Thirty years ago, I would hear from a parent – who realizes their child isn’t perfect and their child’s imperfection isn’t all due to their (parents) work – “Thanks for the phone call. I will talk to my child.” I do hope we will return to a time when a parent will say, “thank you” to a teacher for taking the time to contact the parent about their child’s behavior.  By the way, more teachers than not, will tell the parent, “WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOUR CHILD IMPROVE!”  It isn’t an “Us vs Them” mentality.

In the end, we want to teach / train our children to work within rules / laws and learn how to properly / RESPECTFULLY change rules / laws. Wearing a t-shirt that says, “If it doesn’t cover your crotch, you’ll distract the boys” doesn’t work in MANY parts of the adult world – a world that Rose Lynn is closer to being a part of.  I want Rose Lynn to be ready for “the adult world.” I would hope Rose Lynn’s mom would work with me in preparing Rose Lynn for “the adult world.” I am afraid Rose Lynn has now seen the “world’s” reaction to her defiance is the equivalent to Malala; not quite, Rose Lynn. In my imagination, I cannot see Malala wearing that “crotch” shirt to a school or really…to anywhere, but that is Malala. I would like our students to be more like Malala.