Family – “Success means having those closest to me love and respect me the most.”

Posted December 13, 2022 (Written December 5, 2022 –  3:40pm)

Family.  I never would have thought I would live to see the day “family” would be such a controversial organization.  Yet, in the ‘fight’ to keep the United States of America – THE United States of America, we need to defend FAMILY.

Here is my experience with family.

When I was seven years-old, my alcoholic mom and alcoholic dad got a divorce.  If you want more details about that, but my book – CONDUCTING MY LIFE.  So, I was raised by my mom and my aunt (mom’s sister).  We were on Welfare.  Food Stamps.  Medicare.  It was not the best situation.  All of that with an alcoholic mom!  I saw first-hand / lived first-hand what a dysfunctional family can do to a child.  I was going to have none of that.

Family is very important to me!

To be a good husband and father, I studied my ass off!!  I DID!  I read books.  I went more and more to God / The Bible.  I watched videos.  Heard all sorts of motivational talks.  I STUDIED.  I did not want our children to have the experience that I endured.  Again, my mom did the best she could.  I get it.  AND… it was still rough.

There is a direct correlation between our weaking nation and the weakening of the family.  The family seems to be under attack.  Look at BLM!  On their orginal “Mission Statement,” it said one of its priorities was to disrupt the American nuclear family.  All Marxist organizations know that (disrupt the family unit) is a way to change a culture.  Disrupt the family!  A culture is a reflection of the family.  We are a divided nation in part because our families are divided, or our family is not one of our priorities.

In John C. Maxwell’s book, MAKE TODAY COUNT, he has a chapter titled:  FAMILY.  In that book, he gives us a plan to make our family count in our daily life.  Please buy the book and get the complete answer to, “how do I make my family count?”

We need to make the decision to communicate with and care for our family – DAILY.

Dr. Maxwell gives us three pieces of advice:  Determine Your Priorities; Decide on Your Philosophy; and Develop Problem Solving Strategy.   I will focus on – Develop Problem Solving Strategy.  Why I focus on this one is because this ability to solve problems is good for the family and outside the family; say – your work!  My problem strategy includes (not limited to) listening.  I need to first understand, then be understood.  Ask your family member, “what is the problem?”  Then, you MUST… M U S T … listen to their answer.  No interrupting.  Learn how to listen for content.  Repeat what the family member said.  Let the family member know you are listening and understanding what the family member is telling you.  Then, together solve the problem.  Dr. Maxwell’s 101% Principle is great for solving problems.  This principle says, “Agree on one thing and then, give it 100% attention.”  So, what is the one thing you and the family agree on and give it 100%!  Also, as I mentioned earlier, buy books / audio books on relationships and how to solve problems with relations.  Here, I will help you…

Then, we need to manage the discipline of family.  From Dr. Maxwell, “The desire to make your family a priority is one thing, actually living it out is something else.  I (Dr. Maxwell) found that it’s often easier to get the approval of strangers and colleagues than it is to get respect from those who know you best.  So, I (Dr. Maxwell) practice this discipline:  Every day I work hard on gaining the love and respect of those closest to me.”  Dr. Maxwell gives the reader several disciplines to help us with family.  I want to give you two-of-the-six disciplines.

Put Your Family on Your Calendar First
This seems to be ‘common sense.’  Yet, many of us forget what our family members’ activities are and they miss being on our calendar.  Our son and daughter were very active.  I needed to know about Scout activities, baseball & football games, track meets.  I was blessed to have both of them in band.  Gave us many opportunities to be together.  Make sure you know what your family members are involved in and be a part of their activities.

Keep Your Marriage Healthy First
YES!  Our son is 28 years-old and our daughter is 26 years-old.  Neither one is currently living with us, and we expect to be that way for the rest of our (Diana & me) lives.  Therefore, you need to definitely understand there are going to be many days when you are a spouse compared to a “hands-on parent.”  Correct?  Let’s say you are married for 50 years.  I would link there is a good chance you are going to be at least 20 years without children living in your home.  Sure.  PJ is our son – he is not a child.  Katy is our daughter – she is not a child.  If they were to move back in, I am not the same father to them now as I was when they were 10 years old.  Your spouse / marriage needs to be a big priority.  Defend your marriage.  Date nights.  Small surprises.  Be active with your marriage.  Do not be stagnant or even status-quo.  Dr. Maxwell says, “Just like anything else worth fighting for, marriage requires daily discipline and commitment.”

Our families need our attention.  We need to make our family a priority.  Our family is our legacy.  Our family is what helps keeps our nation a great nation.  Within our family, we need individual ‘greatness.’  Our nation needs greatness from every family!  Great families lead to a great nation!


I hope this has helped you.  Again, please buy his book

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