What We Learned About the Shooters (murderers)

What a fantastic article.  I loved it and AT THE SAME TIME, THE REPORTERS FRUSTRATE ME… which may be the reason the article is “fantastic.”  I strongly encourage you to read the article.


As I get ready to go to school to begin my THIRTY-FIRST CONSECUTIVE YEAR teaching high school music, I have grave concern about what is missing from the article and therefore, what is missing from the “reason” (which does include several parts; strongly agree with the reporters in the sense that the reason does include, several parts) why we have seen an uptick of mass shootings. 

I write this at 5:43AM, Tuesday, August 6, 2019 – three days following the murders in El Paso and Dayton and nine days following the murders in Gilroy.  I admit.  I am anxious to still be a teacher.  No doubt.  The anxiety of the students has increased in thirty years.  No doubt.  I do fear a student coming into the classroom with the intent to do harm WITH OR WITHOUT A GUN.  Heck, last year I had FRESHMAN say to me, “I enjoy making people cry, Mr. Everts.  I enjoy hurting people.”  Yes… he is no longer at our school AND NOR SHOULD HE BE.  Hope he is getting counseling!!  More pressure has been placed on schools… read the LA Times article and they are encouraging more responsibility on schools for the solution.  Like we (schools) haven’t taken on more responsibility helping raise stressed out humans! 

I know that my writing isn’t the best and you don’t have time to read a lot of BAD WRITING. 

Here is what is missing from the article and if I am wrong… please tell me.  MAKE A DAMN COMMENT But, I have read the article several times, especially the “Now that we have the information from their study, what do we do?”  Nowhere does it say in the article:  BRING FATHERS BACK AS BEING IMPORTANT IN THE RAISING OF CHILDREN.  Or… BRING MEN BACK AS BEING IMPORTANT IN THE RAISING OF CHILDREN. 


How come the article doesn’t mention that a large majority, some say has high as 26-out-of-27 of the most “DESTRUCTIVE” mass killers had an “absent father?”  Why?  How come that is not mentioned?   No conspiratorial reasons for asking the question.  I just would like to know.

Again, if that is in the article… let me know!!  I am sensitive about the treatment of men and therefore, I can be blinded by my sensitivity.  

I had an alcoholic father, who treated my mom like crap, in January 1973, drove from Waldport, Oregon to Carmel, California to drop me off at my aunt’s home to live with my alcoholic mom, her sister (my aunt) and my twin sisters… never to see my father again. 

I would like to know how come we continue to reject one of the reasons for these mass murderers / killers (the reporters used the sanitized term:  SHOOTERS) is an absent father or even an absent positive male role model? 

Ladies and Gentlemen – I know I would have been a different man, MAYBE a better man, if I had a loving father who was a great husband.  I literally thank God that I did not / have not / will not turn out to be like my father.  Yet, I hate to write that.  I yearn for a father.  I am grateful for all the positive male role models I have had:  my male middle school / high school music teachers; my male boss at Carmel Drug Store and I could go on. 

But, my goodness… a day later… morning later… read Peterson & Densley’s article and nowhere does it mention:  another commonality is the lack of a father or male role model is an issue.

Our boys need to be boys.  Encouraged to be boys.  Warren Farrell’s THE BOY CRISIS is one of THE books about the issues our country is facing and will face in the coming decades in regards to the development of boys in our nation.  After all, it has taken decades to create such evil.  It was bound to happen.  

When so many men went off to war… just think of how many wars the USA was in in the 20th century:  WORLD WAR ONE; WORLD WAR TWO; THE KOREAN WAR; THE VIETNAM WAR; THE ONGOING WAR SINCE SEPTEMBER 11, 2001… we have lost so many men!  Women cannot replace the father.  Sorry.  You can’t.  You do a wonderful job.  My mom did.  But, to think you (female) are capable of being a man?  Unfair to you (female and to me (male). 

Our boys are yearning / begging for men to step-up and be positive male role models for them.  BTW – not only are the boys yearning / begging for men to step-up and be positive role models, our girls are, as well.  We can see that in the increase number of suicide attempts and sadly… suicides.  

Yet, men are constantly being told and shown they are not good.  Too much masculine toxicity.  Be a man is a derogatory comment.  Like it is some sort of “insult” to tell a boy to “man-up” when he isn’t being masculine. 

Unfortunately, my feeling is this is the beginning.  “Beginning” being a time when we see a radical change where we see the government fulfilling the role of “father.” My goodness… we hear people “begging” the politicians to “DO SOMETHING.”  “We” expect the government, especially the president, to “DO SOMETHING.”  Solve our problems.  REALLY?  

The church / place of worship used to be the one the one to fulfill the role or BETTER teach the role of “father.”  We used to look to God / what we learned in the place of worship as the father figure and do what we can to emulate what that role was.  Please note… I used “GOD” not Jesus Christ / Mohammed / Abraham… No.  I SPECIFICALLY WROTE “GOD.” 

We used to encourage boys to rough house.  Now, for twenty / thirty years, we are encouraging boys to sit and be quiet – BE CAREFUL.  When do they have the time to get out their energy in a productive manner?  Or, scrape a knee.  I wonder what the sales of BAND AIDS have been like in the last twenty / thirty years? 

What about relationships with girls?  Boys are terrified (dramatic word for effect) of how girls are going to respond to their “advances.”  More and more boys would rather NOT RISK GETTING ACCUSED of “rape” or “inappropriate touching.”  This Victorian age of dating is really affecting the boys.  Boys, as do girls, have needs to love and beloved.  Take care of someone else.  Yes… most of the time, that someone else is a GIRL / FEMALE.  The lack of their connecting with the opposite sex plays a role in their anxiety. 

I have more to say, but it is 6:14AM, and I got to get ready to face the day. 

Please… stop ignoring the need for fathers.  The need for positive male role models.  AND AGAIN, if the article does mention the missing of fathers or positive male role models, let me know.  I want to be accurate.

THE BOY CRISIS IS REAL… we are seeing the beginning, possibly in the beginning third, of a tragedy of the lack of responsibility for the way we have treated men.  Yes… I know:  controversial. 

Hey, all the boys and girls have been in the same classrooms.  All the boys and girls are getting the same information.  Why are the boys behaving like this?  Because, right or wrong, when one gender wins, both genders lose (Warren Farrell).  Great intention:  for the last 75 years, we have spent so much energy / time / money on increasing the “modernization” of women that the boys have been left out. 

“That’s too much Paul.  You have gone too far.”  REALLY?  We agree to disagree… However, think about it… 

  • It’s cool to see a female as a physician… we revel in that moment.
  • What about a male as a nurse?  Still a bit odd.  
  • It’s cool to see a female as a college professor … we revel in that moment.
  • What about a male as a kindergarten or first grade teacher?  Still a bit odd.  
  • It’s cool to see to see the female soccer team win the world cup. 
  • It’s cool to mock and make fun of the male soccer team not win the world cup.  

Okay… I really need to go… It’s 6:35am…  and I got all those folks who think men are the problem pissed off at me because I have spoken in favor of BRING BACK THE FATHER.  It’s time for a WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL FOR MEN AND BOYS.  That will get y’all going.  Well, when President Obama established a WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS, y’all got excited and praised him.  Now, for some of you… think of it… President Trump is going to establish a WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL FOR MEN AND BOYS.  Hmmmm…. ya asked for it.  Ya want the government to “DO SOMETHING.”  

Would have been okay with neither WHITE HOUSE COUNCIL existing and for us to turn to our families / communities / and yes…houses of worship for the solutions.  

It is okay to be a man.  We need our fathers.  We need men to be men and allowed to be men.  MEN – IT IS OKAY TO “MAN UP.”  MEN – IT IS OKAY TO “BE A MAN.” 

We really need THE FATHER.  Thanks for reading and allowing me to be me.  I enjoy being a man.  ?